General audience feedback from second rough cut

I have collected feedback for my second rough cut of my documentary.

The main things people think went well are:

•  My framing of the shots.
• My variety of shots such as having close up, mid shots and wide shot.
• My shooting material being appropriate to my documentary.
• Mise-en-scene including my lighting and the setting being an office for the psychologist and a bedroom for the casual conservation with the girl.
• Editing so it is clear to the viewer what my documentary is about and what my documentary is featuring.

What I could improve:

• I could hold the camera more steadily at certain parts of the documentary.
• Use better sound with certain parts of my documentary.

What I am going to change:

• If I had more time to film I would re film the parts where the camera is slightly shaky, However because I do not have time I am going to edit and change the sound by adding more voiceovers to my documentary as that whats some people said would make it better in my feedback. 

Twitter feedback for rough cut

I put my rough cut of my documentary on to twitter and asked from feedback from people. Three people replied and gave me this feedback.

Changes to script

When I originally filmed my Doctor she followed the script I set out perfectly. However when I started editing I realised from the feedback I received that to have her saying all of that in one time was to much. I therefore cut a lot out from what my Doctor said out but still did use part of what she said in the script for my documentary.

Changes from my first rough cut to my second rough cut

In my first rough cut I put everything I had filmed together without really thinking much about how I wanted it to be. When I had more time I went back and cut a lot out from the doctor and the two girls speaking. I also added in pictures, more people giving their opinions, titles and some voice overs. When doing this I refereed back to my planning I had done at the beginning and watched more documentaries so I could remember how I wanted my documentary to be. I feel like I made massive improvements from my first rough cut to my second.

Radio Advert - Finished

This is my finished radio advert. I chose to do this as my radio advert as the documentary is focused on something quite serious, therefore I wanted the radio advert to reflect this. I also chose to start with the fact because I think that grabs audiences attention, especially if they were sitting in the car and this was to come on the radio. I also chose to end with "BBC, Tuesday, 8pm" because I wanted to use the rule of three as this is powerful and sticks in peoples minds.

Magazine article - Finished

This is my finished magazine article. The improvements I have made from my first draft to my finished product is cropping the picture more so it is focused on the girl and her sign, I lightened the picture slightly so you could see the picture better, I also made the title of the documentary bigger and bolder so it stands out as well as adding a tag line. I chose this tag line because it is simple for my target audience but also confusing and would cause the audience to think. The BCC3 logo and the time of the documentary bigger so it is clear to the audience when the documentary is happening.

Updated radio advert script

In the UK twelve out of everyone one thousand people have OCD and a lot of these people suffer in silence. A brand new documentary on BBC3 follows a young girl on a journey to find out more about learning to live with OCD. After she hid her obsessions and compulsions from everyone around her for five years she goes on a mission to meet a lead psychologist and other people suffering so she can show    young girls that It's okay to be different from everyone else and that having OCD doesn't mean you can't live a normal and happy life. BBC3, Tuesday 8pm.